


Anyone but you!

by unknowableroom_archivist



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Marauders' Era, One Shot
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2007-10-22
Updated: 2007-10-22
Packaged: 2019-01-19 12:13:00
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,215
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12410097
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/unknowableroom_archivist/pseuds/unknowableroom_archivist
Summary: Slughorn's given his 6th year NEWT Potions class partners for a project and Lily is NOT happy!





	Anyone but you!

**Author's Note:**

> Note from ChristyCorr, the archivist: this story was originally archived at [Unknowable Room](http://fanlore.org/wiki/Unknowable_Room), a Harry Potter archive active from 2005-2016. To preserve the archive, I began manually importing its works to the AO3 as an Open Doors-approved project after May 2017. I e-mailed all creators about the move and posted announcements, but may not have reached everyone. If you are (or know) this creator, please contact me using the e-mail address on [Unknowable Room collection profile](http://www.archiveofourown.org/collections/unknowableroom).

**Just another insignificant snippet from 70's Hogwarts. Lily's not a happy bunny!**

*****

 

There was the awful sound of chair legs being scraped across the hard flagstone floor of the Potions classroom as everyone got up from their seats to work with their allotted partners. Usually Professor Slughorn let his students work with their neighbors but he'd woken up that morning in a jolly mood and decided he'd like to torture his NEWT class, just a little bit.  


 

Sirius Black stretched before doing his most provocative swagger in the direction of Lily Evans. He knew it wouldn't work on her like it did on all the other girls; somehow she seemed completely impervious to charm, which he had in droves. As soon as he got to her he slid (expertly) into his seat and spoke loudly and confidently. "Now, now Evans, I swear that by the time this project is over you will be in love with me. You don't have to tell me right now, my little ice queen, but sooner or later you will feel the need to fawn over me and I'm just telling you now that I can't reciprocate, no matter how tempting. I fear my best mate might kill me and although I'm going for the whole 'he died tragically young' thing, I'm sure sixteen is just a little too young...don't you?"  


 

Through gritted teeth Lily replied "I can't believe I'm stuck with you. Anyone but you!"  


 

"Aww now Evans, you know you were secretly pleased! Deep, deep... _deep_ down on some crazy subconscious level I know when you saw your name written so perfectly after mine you gave the tiniest jump for joy... _way_ deep down."  


 

Lily folded her arms, closed her eyes and counted to ten silently before exhaling and starting her speech. "Sirius Black..."  


 

"Oh this is going to be good!" muttered Remus Lupin, Lily’s usual Potion’s partner, to James Potter in front of him. They were both unashamedly watching.  


 

Slughorn was stood near by too and looked very pleased with himself. "Ah, trust Miss Evans to evoke a little drama in my classroom. Just wait for the come back boys...it'll be a good one."  


 

"Yes my little pudding?" answered Sirius whilst fluttering his eyelashes, completely oblivious of just who he had for an audience.  


 

"Sirius Black! Now for some completely unfathomable reason, our dear Potion master, the usually very astute Professor Slughorn, has decided to put you and me working with one another. I, for the life of me, cannot think of a good enough reason for him to do this to me, and am currently formulating a plan to get him back-ten fold!" Here she shot her Professor a slit-eyed glance. "I think it is painfully apparent to me, to you and to everyone else in this room, nay, the school, that I will not be proclaiming my love for you, however repressed it may be! And you going on about it will only embarrass yourself so just stop. Now I know somewhere in that overly inflated head of yours, amongst all the cotton wool and testosterone, there is a brain, no matter how small...and I know that actually this brain of yours works. So please, please can we just get through this project with relative calm and then you can go back to your friends and 'prank-it-up' to your hearts content." At this point Lily needed to take in a large breath and could see that Sirius was impressed, whether or not he was taking any notice. "And just as an after thought...you call me a stupid pet name one more time and I'll take my wand...shove it in a place you'll not want it poking around, and hex till I'm all hexed out. Are we clear?"  


 

And as if he'd been waiting for her to finish Sirius began to clap slowly. "Well done, well done! I'm actually a little chocked up." he feigned wiping a tear from his eye. "You know what Evans? You're alright you are."  


 

"Do I honestly have to partition off the desks? Or are you going to behave?" she asked back in a bored voice, ignoring his theatrics.  


 

"Oh don't worry, I'm not going to attempt to molest you, weren't you listening? I happen to know James is very good at cursing."  


 

"You and most of school, having been hit with them." she retorted angrily before forcefully removing her Potions notebook from her bag and all but slamming it on the desk in front of her.  


 

At this point Slughorn sauntered over with his hands clasped behind his back. "Well, well, well Mr Black, Miss Evans. Everything alright over here, is it?"  


 

"Oh yes sir…" started Sirius happily but he could not finish as he was interrupted.  


 

"No it bloody well isn't and you bloody well know it!"  


 

Now Sirius thought himself quite a back chatter. He was sometimes quite proud of his quick wit and even quicker mouth, though sometimes he forgot who he was talking to and it got him into trouble. But this outburst from Lily Evans - LILY EVANS - teachers pet, long time do-gooder and all around brown-noser! He didn't know if he was uncomfortable or just plain impressed. _And now to wait for the detention..._  


 

"Oh?" asked Slughorn, feigning ignorance.  


 

"Don't you 'Oh' me!" she retorted with one hand on her hip, and shaking a pointed finger at him as though he were a small child being scolded. “You know exactly what’s wrong! Did you suddenly wake up this morning and think ‘Hmm, it’s a nice day today, the sky’s blue; the birds are singing…I know! I’ll mix and match my NEWT class and make the next week completely _unbearable_ for Lily Evans!’?” 

 

People around the scene turned to Slughorn, expecting him to be mad. They didn’t expect, therefore, for him to be chuckling. “Now, now Lily…It’s not all that bad. Mr Black is quite good at Potions, you know.”

 

“I hardly see how that matters.” she replied flatly, crossing her arms and looking away in disgust.

 

“Deary me.” muttered Slughorn, bringing his chubby fingers to his chin and rubbing it. “What to do…”

 

“Don’t mock me.” 

 

Lifting an eyebrow, Slughorn suppressed a smile. “You could always swap partners. Yes, I think that would be satisfactory for you, wouldn’t it?” When Lily didn’t answer but huffed he _did_ smile. “So, it’s either Mr Black or…Mr Potter, what do you think?”

 

At this point Lily went awfully red in the cheeks. “Oh my god, were you sent from hell to torture me?! Are you serious?! Potter or Black, hmmm, let me think…” She pretended to deliberate. “Is there the choice of boiling in oil?”

 

Thoroughly pleased with himself Slughorn shrugged. “It’s Mr Black or Mr Potter…take your pick.”

 

Nobody saw James cross his fingers under the desk.

 

After a few seconds of Lily silently fuming she plonked herself into her chair. “Sit down Black.” she muttered grudgingly through clenched teeth.

 

“Now then, I suppose that’s settled isn’t it.” announced Slughorn with a clap of his hands before turning to James and saying “Hard luck there Potter…perhaps next time eh?”

    

**Sluggy's a bit of an evil git isn't he? Though entertainingly so...**

**Now would you care to review?**


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